Since the first day of school, he has LOVED third grade. Ms. Perry got him excited about all that is to come and he is ready to take it all on. He said, "I made a promise to myself that this was going to be my best year yet, and it has." He has worked so hard and the teacher noticed. They came and announced his name!!!
We were there with him when he picked up his T-shirt and got his picture taken in the office. We brought him a special lunch at school, and went out as a family to Big Al's for a few video games and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We are REALLY celebrating!
That was Friday.
Then came Saturday...
Isaac CRASHED like I have not seen him do since the toddler years. The day was filled with drama and irrational thinking. He came out of his swim lessons insisting that he can't do anything asked of him in the class, that his teacher hated him and vowed NEVER to go back again (and I couldn't make him). After we talked about what was true, he calmed down and asked for forgiveness. There; done.
Not even close.
Without reliving the day, it was filled with yelling, throwing, arguing, tears, and insisting that he was "the worst" and that I was "thinking" of calling him names (in my head, even though I wasn't saying them). Totally irrational. It all was completely from left field. I couldn't figure out where any of this was coming from.
The praise in the midst of the storm...I am an older, female version of Isaac.
I get him. I struggle with the same things. I give 110% then crash and burn as soon as I have accomplished the task at hand. I end up in this ball of a mess and long for nothing more than to cry and sleep. So I saw what that looked like as I watched it unfold in my son.
Because I am so much like him, my tendency to respond mirrors his. I want to cry, throw in the towel, yell, see only my weaknesses/faults, throw something, and take everything personal. That is what I usually do when Isaac does something I am not proud of; I take on the personal weight of his sin and blame myself.
Not this time.
God, in his goodness, allowed yesterday to be such a wonderful, teaching, growing day...for both of us. We both discussed the weight of this world we try to carry on our shoulders that remind us of how weak we are (even physically needy for things like food...and sleep) and how mighty our God is (who does not need those things, but provides them for us). We reflected on scriptures that said He is there and we can cry out to Him and he is ready to lighten our load. We praised God together that heaven will one day be free of all this, so we'll be able to worship Him freely for eternity. We also thanked the Lord for Jesus loving us so much that, for whatever reason, He lovingly chose to die on the cross for out sins (past, present and future), and has given us the Holy Spirit to continue to work in us to make us more like Christ. We also we reminded to think on what is TRUE. It is easy to fall into fear and despair when we face too much and see our inadequacy to take it on the tasks at hand. If we look to ourselves, we spiral downward. When we remember who holds the "STARS" in the sky, we can claim the truth, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Isaac ended the evening praying through Bible verses like that one as he took a shower. He came out refreshed, though still tired, with hope. He started reading and writing out Psalm 1 on his own, and took his eyes off himself and focused on what was true.
He had a sweet teaching, training, discipline time with dad when he got home from work. As they spent the time together, Chris teared up. He shared with Isaac that these are some of the hardest moments to be a dad, but the ones he values the most because he is given the great job to love and raise up these kids. Rightly said.
As we gave him his final kisses before bed, we thanked God that we would forget the details of this trying day, but that we'd forever be changed as we grew through them. We went to sleep thankful. We awoke to a new day.
God is so GOOD!!!
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